- #1
The trouble with Evan
- #2
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- #3
The place is Hamilton, Ontario, but it could be any place.
- #4
The boy's name is Evan, but we've all known someone a lot like him.
- #5
When he was four, Evan was classified as conduct disordered, a holy terror for his teachers and his parents.
- #6
Dear Karen, just a short note to let you know that Evan did not receive a star today,
- #7
as we had some difficulties this morning. Evan portrayed quite an aggressive behavior at our snack table
- #8
and eventually had to be removed.
- #9
I allowed Evan to go outside.
- #10
Evan gouged his fingernails into the back of a young boy, leaving a long mark in his skin.
- #11
There was no parent...
apparent reason for Evans actions.
- #12
Evan grabbed a classmate by the neck in a head lock and left fingernail marks embedded in the back of the boys neck.
- #13
Evan is a very confused, unhappy boy, who does not appear to be in control of his behavior at this time.
- #14
We are hoping that youll be able to set up an interview time next week to discuss Evans behavior.
- #15
We are having some difficulty with Evan following directions and interactions with his classmates.
- #16
He is eleven, in grade six. He has above average intelligence, and above average talent for getting into mischief.
- #17
Foreshadowings of serious problems.
- #18
He shoplifted
. I'd maybe say for three years we've been aware of it
- #19
The latest incident has been Evan has started smoking
and that was brought to our attention by
his school.
- #20
He was...
suspended the last day of school before Christmas.
- #21
He was caught smoking on the...
the playground at school.
- #22
So you can get right in there? Just the
wallpaper we want us to stay away from, you know.
- #23
Evans mother, Karen, works as a receptionist. Evan has a sister, Kimberly, who is seven.
- #24
Kimberly is hearing impaired.
- #25
You're doing a great job
! Its about time we got to this, eh?
- #26
The stepfather, Mike, is a welder.
- #27
He grew up on a farm, doing a man's work when he was Evan's age.
- #28
His father died when he was only fourteen.
- #29
Screws
. Yes
. One
- #30
There's one down here. Should I pick it up ?
- #31
Where? No.
- #32
Oh, there they are, I think !
- #33
Between them, there is an ominous generation gap, and it's growing wider, because of Mike's frustration with Evan's behavior.
- #34
Whats the worst thing that ever happened to you?
- #35
I can't think of it, 'cause I was, like... such a big list of bad things like, I can't remember all of them.
- #36
Well, take me down the list a little bit.
- #37
I remember once I got caught playing
like
I.. I set a little bonfire in the washroom at my old school.
- #38
Evan is often in trouble for playing with matches. Once, on a family holiday, he almost started a forest fire.
- #39
Myself and my brother in law happened to turn around, and we see all these flames and smoke and I mean he set off bushes on fire,
- #40
so we ran over and
this one tree was just
going pretty good, so we had to go and run and get pails of water to put it out.
- #41
When we asked him, he just said: I just wanted to see if it would burn
.
- #42
Hes to the age when he thinks that he can do whatever he wants. He doesnt have to listen to rules,
- #43
he doesnt have to follow instructions, he does what he pleases and he knows there's going to be consequences but it doesn't matter.
- #44
In positive parenting we are searching for the reason that things happen.
- #45
Eventually Mike and Karin enrolled in a parenting class, run by Barbara Burls,
- #46
looking for insights to relieve the psychological pressures that were building in their home.
- #47
I am sure I dont need to convince you as a group of parents that sometimes in your relationships
- #48
with your kids you find yourselves reacting with emotions that you just cant imagine where they come from.
- #49
Evan soon became the focus of the group.
- #50
He's
he's smoking. He's.. he is..